


but i have promises to keep (and miles to go before i sleep)

by Kidfish



Category: Original Work
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Original Character(s), Useless Lesbians, they are both so gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8438074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidfish/pseuds/Kidfish
Summary: Being a runaway in a kingdom you're supposed to be ruling doesn't allow for much sleep; luckily Addie has always been a light sleeperOr seven times the topic of sleep has come up in Kievara and Addie's relationship ( two pre-relationship and five whilst on the run)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just bits and bobs that come into my head as I write Addie and Kievara's story

1\. The last toll of the bell tower echoed faintly in the distance signaling how late into the night it had gotten, but it did not matter to Adelaide. She did not care for sleep anymore, and she doubted that she ever would again. It felt that the hollow space in her chest where her heart should have been would not be able to care about anything anymore.

Not that she was not tired, in fact she was exhausted, but every time Adelaide let her eyelids droop, she forced them back open. When her eyes were closed all Addie could see mother, splayed out on the cobblestone and bloodied, drawing her last strained breath. Her father had not permitted her to see her mother’s body after the nurse’s maiden had taken her away. Logically, she knew he was probably doing what was best for her, but that did not mean that she did not want to see her mother again.

Her mother, who refused against the midwife’s pleas, had nursed Adelaide from her own breast, who had not only taught her how to see but also how to identify flowers and trees in the forest. Her mother, who loved her only daughter, her only child, with all of her heart, did not deserve that. Adelaide did not deserve that.

So she had pounded her small fists against her father’s chest relentlessly, but her father stood tall, strong as a slab of stone and as gentle as always. He held her until Adelaide collapsed against him, her body wracked with grief and exhaustion 

They had stayed there for the majority of the morning, curled together on the cobblestone. Her father had to lean against a stone pillar for support, for physical or emotional support, Adelaide did not know. It wasn’t until her grandfather joined them, hobbling as fast as he could with a cane over the bumpy courtyard, that Adelaide realized her father had been silently trying to hold it together for her sake; however, once her grandfather had knelt down to comfort his son, her father had let out a howl of anguish like a wounded animal. Adelaide buried her face into her father’s chest as he stroked her damp hair-the exact same shade of brown as her mother’s, but wavy like her father’s. Seeing her father cry for his wife broke Adelaide the most, but even the strongest rocks crack from being weathered.

The rest of the day had seemed hazy, as if she were in a dream. Foregoing her midday meal, Adelaide had ridden deep into the Wood with Liekel, a servant boy who was Liliana’s older brother. Liekel did not talk much, often opting to listen instead of responding to whatever Adelaide was talking about, but when he did it was always low and soft and laced with kindness. While Adelaide enjoyed running around with Liliana and Faeliti, their youthful exuberance often grew tiring. After all, nearing eleven, she was hardly a child anymore. It was nice to talk to someone her own age, someone who understood, even though he worked for her family. It was the first (and only) time that Liekel and Adelaide had gone into the Wood and he had talked more than she did.

Adelaide considered the words that Liekel had told her. He said that dying was one of the world’s natural orders, that sometimes things needed to die at the the expense of other’s surviving. Even if he was right, the nerve of him to say that in front of her, when not even a few hours ago her mother had been murdered. 

Adelaide quickly directly her thoughts away from her mother as a light breeze tickled her body and she shivered. Her thin nightgown provided little protection from the castle’s drafty windows. Wrapping the gown around herself, Adelaide got out of her bed and grabbed the candle stand next to her bed. Some of the melted wax ran onto her hand and she hissed as the burning liquid touched her skin. There was nothing that Adelaide could do until the wax cooled and dried a little bit so she continued to her bedroom door.

The only source of light came from the candles mounted on the wall and the one in her hand. She could only see a few steps in front of her. It gave a sense that the corridor only existed as far as the light touched it. Adelaide knew that the corridor went on but the absence of light tricked her mind into believing that the darkness was an endless oblivion. It creeped up on her, all-consuming, trickling into her mind. The thoughts in Adelaide’s mind grew darker and soon they were uncontrollable like an invasive parasite festering and feeding until the only thoughts left were the worst of all. 

 

Will Father blame me for letting her die? Will he see me the same way? Why didn’t I run faster? Why was she killed? Why does it feel like I killed her?

 

Adelaide took a shaky breath and continued her journey, her feet padded along on the cold stone. She knew exactly where she was going. Down two flights of stairs, along a long corridor, turning left into a smaller passageway off of the main hall, Adelaide found the destination she had in mind. The portrait hall was not a part of the castle that she visited often, only when she had to; however, she immensely enjoyed looking at all of the painting of her ancestors in the royal line. There was as much history in this room as there were in the walls of the castle that she lived in

During the day the hallway was bathed in light from the magnificent windows on opposite ends of the hall. Adelaide, in her childhood, had grown accustomed to spending long hours sitting in that sunlight as she posed for portraits. Once, she had been so bored that she had started to count the hairs peeking out from the painter’s nose. By the time she had reached three-quarters to a hundred, he had finally finished.  
Afterwards Adelaide had told her mother what she had done and even though she was reprimanded, she knew that her mother though it was funny by the way her eyes had twinkled. Adelaide smiled sadly, remembering the memory. It felt so long ago but it had only been two years ago. Then again with all the...events that had happened today, yesterday felt like a lifetime ago. A lifetime where dead mothers didn’t exist and the most she had to worry about was trying to beat Liekel in the weekly races they had through the woods

About halfway down the hall was the portrait that Adelaide was looking for. Even though it had been painted ten years ago, it was the most recent portrait of her family all together. She had only been a baby at the time of the painting, hidden by the tangle of blankets that she was sleeping in. Her mother cradled her in her arms, a serene smile on her face. To her right was Adelaide’s grandfather who sat stately in a high-backed armchair and behind him was her father, the king. Though the expression on his face was stern, his eyes were soft.

Adelaide stared up at her mother’s face which was illuminated by the moonlight streaming in from the towering windows. Her mother had always laughed at the painting, saying they had made the king’s nose too large and her father‘s ears too pointy. She told Adelaide, “If your father’s nose was that big in real life, there was no chance of me marrying him,” which made Adelaide giggle every time.

Opposite the painting was a grand fireplace with the remnants of a dying fire, the embers glowing dimly. Adelaide shuffled slowly in front of it, facing so she could see the painting of her mother. Only then, did she lay down and let sleep overcome her. 

 

Her father found her the next morning, still in front of the fireplace and facing the painting but with a faint dusting of ash that covered her body. When he knelt down he noticed that tear tracks on her cheeks had washed off the ash from her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the same night as chapter 1

1.

Illuminated by the remains of the smoldering candle stub, a girl not much older than Adelaide was propped up against a wall, cradling a small child in her arms. The candle bathed the room in a dim golden light but it was fading quickly. The child, more of a baby really, was sleeping soundly in her arms, swaddled in a brown blanket. Kievara looked down at his face, admiring the peacefulness that her brother, Pietek had. These moments with him were her favorite but they did not happen often since she and her father worked all day long, having her brother spend the most time with their mother.

The faint sound of hooves could be heard in the distance. Her father was finally arriving home. He worked at the palace so he often came home late into the night. Kievara carefully got up, still holding Pietek in her arms, and walked into the other (and only other) room of the cottage. 

The cottage was a modest one, built by Kievara’s father with the help of other local villagers after he was married to Kievara’s mother. It had a thatched roof that occasionally leaked when the rain was coming down hard enough and the front door did not close all of the way but to Kievara, it was still home. Her father had been saving his wages from working as a guardsman at the palace so they could have an extra room when Pietek grew old enough.

Her mother, sitting in the only chair the family owned, was dozing off. Her hair in a slight disarray. Kievara smiled and walked quietly over to her.

“Mama, Mama wake up, Father is almost home,” Kievara’s voice seemed to echo off the bare walls, bouncing until it was the loudest thing in the room. 

Her mother opened her eyes, trying to rub the sleep out of them. When she saw her daughter and son, a smile broke out on her face. Pietek was awake now and reaching for his mother. Kievara let her mother take him out of her arms though she secretly wanted to hold him a little longer. 

Kievara watched as her mother got up and walked around with Pietek, bouncing him on her hip. Pietek flapped his tiny hands in front her face, finally resting them on her cheeks.

Suddenly, the front door opened to reveal a stout and cheerful looking man who was Kievara’s father. Kievara gave a shriek of happiness and ran over to her father, enveloping him in a hug as big as her thin arms could allow. 

“How’s my darling princess? Kievara’s father lifted her up into the air as the little girl laughed.

“Father I can’t be a princess. The King and Queen don’t have any daughters, only sons,” Kievara replied, a little bewildered at how little her father knew about the family he served.

He chuckled. “You’re right, little one, but I only meant that you are my princess. And do you know what princesses get?”

“What, Father?”

“They get,” Kievara’s father paused for dramatic effect, “The very last sweet roll from the kitchens.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a large, misshapen sweet roll and handed it to his daughter, who squealed in delight.

“It might be a little squished from the carriage ride home but I’m sure it will taste just splendid. In fact, one of the kitchen boys gave me one at the end of my midday meal.”

Kievara had already bit into the soft bun, savoring its sweetness. She nodded in agreement, icing dripping down her chin. Kievara’s mother looked pointedly at her daughter  
“Oh, yes. Thank you Father.”

“It was my pleasure Kievara, just to see the happiness on your face when I gave it to you.”

Kievara’s father walked over to where his wife was standing and kissed her deeply. “And here is my beautiful queen,”he took Pietek out of her arms, “and my handsome prince.”

“Come let us share a small meal together with my wonderful family.” All four of them moved into the middle of the small room, to where there was a small table that was low to the ground. Kievara’s father pulled out a sack of food and begin to divide bread, cheese, and meat on plates that rested on the table. The family often ate like this, late into the night when Kievara’s father came home from the palace.  
“Kievara would you get some water from bucket,” Kievara’s mother asked as she brought out their set of pewter cups. 

She obliged, going to her room to get a fresh candle. Once the candle was lit, Kievara went out the back door to where their small plot of land was. Next to the cottage’s back door were multiple wooden buckets, all filled with water. She grabbed the closest one to her, stuttering a little under its weight, but successfully carried it inside without spilling even a drop.

Once they said a prayer to the gods and had thanked King and Queen Aisnear, Kievara’s family began to eat. Kievara began to break the bread and meat up into smaller pieces so Pietek could eat easier; he had just recently began to eat solid food. The food was from the palace kitchens so it was always filling and delicious. It wasn’t often that they had a bad meal.

Kievara spread the soft cheese on her piece of bread before putting it in her mouth. She had worked up an appetite, working in the village fields and then running around with the other children. The man in charge allowed them half a bucket of whatever crop they were growing for their midday meal. While the vegetables were fresh, and crunchy, they could not satisfy her hunger for the whole day.

Kievara’s mother and father were talking quietly but Kievara perked up when her mother said, “...can’t possible start working there She’s much too young.”

“Mama, what’s Father talking about,” Kievara pulled on her mother’s dress, worry tightening her face.

“Little one, there’s something we should have told you but we did not because we were scared. Can you understand that, Kievara?” Kievara’s father asked her gently.

“I guess. One time I didn’t tell you that I cracked our old water bucket because I was scared you were going to be mad.”

Her father nodded, “This is a little different. We’re scared because something wonderful has happened but we don’t want to lose you. The next sunset you could be working at the palace like I do.”

Kievara gasped, “Is this really true Father? Mother?”

“It is Kievara,” her mother said softly.

Kievara’s father pulled a rolled, slightly crumpled, piece of parchment and began to read from it, “A courier boy gave this to me as I was off duty some eleven sunsets ago. ‘Your Royal Highnesses King and Queen Aisnear request the daughter of Oraquik and Lindeana to work as a royal maiden serving the Queen, King and the Royal Palace until the age of possible wedlock. If her parents accept this position for her, work is mandatory and is expected to start as soon as time permits. The subject will have available residence at the palace if she desires to stay full time there. Work will be compensated by a full moon’s cycle.”

“I would...work for the Queen?” Kievara asked, dumbfounded.

“That’s what it says right here, little one” Her mother said, “We must decide soon. The King gave us a fortnight to think about it and talk to you but time is running out  
“This would be so much better than working in Padroe’s fields,” Kievara muttered to herself.”

“Don’t let Padroe hear what you just said. You wouldn’t want to upset him, you know how much he loves his vegetables,” Kievara’s father laughed jovially.

“What about you and Mama? And Pietek? If I am gone there would be no one to care for him? And my studies? I would fall so far behind even Tutor Hyllinge could not catch me up!”

“Kievara, do not discredit us. Did you think we had not considered these situations? We can easily hire one of the village children to care for Pietek. Your mother discussed your scholarly pursuits with Tutor Hyllinge. They both agreed that you would learn much more working within the palace-more than you ever could from your studies with Tutor Hyllinge.”

“We know you know that we want the best for you but ultimately the decision is up to you,” her mother said.

Kievara considered the thought of working at the palace. She could be useful to her kingdom, working at the palace and in such close quarters with the Royal Family. She knew that the King and Queen had two sons: one a little older than her and one a little younger. She could offer to take care of them! There would be so many people to meet and to befriend. She wondered if there were any children her age working in the palace. There must be, it seemed as though the King and Queen sought the help of the children of the people who served them. There would be so much more freedom, once she had completed the tasks she needed to do. Oh, but Pietek. She would miss him terribly as well as her parents but she could certainly visit them. The parchment said that residence at the palace was optional.

“I think I want to serve the Royal Family and work at the palace but of course I would come back and visit you. I’ll even send back the wages that I earn!”

Kievara’s father shot a knowing glance at her mother. “Kievara that will not be necessary. You will be earning it with your hands and your own hard work. We will be well off without you sending money.”

“Well now that you’re going to be working at the palace we should gather up the things you should take with you. You can ride in on the carriage with your father tomorrow at sunrise.”

Kievara's heart started to beat rapidly in her chest. Tomorrow she would be at the palace! It felt like the world had opened up and she would finally be able to go out and explore it. She felt equally terrified and exhilarated 

Packing did not take long; Kievara and her family did not own much. Her father did manage to find a small burlap sack which she put her writing tablet, a full roll of parchment, two charcoal writing sticks, and her other plain brown working dress. Kievara’s father assumed that the King and Queen would provide most of her uniform as well as her casual clothing.

The family decided to say their goodbyes now instead of in the morning, it was just as well, Kievara and her father would need to leave well before the sun rose. Kievara’s parents embraced their daughter, holding her close. They knew they probably would not see their daughter for a long time. She’d get caught up in palace life, enamored at the freedom and the feeling of being needed. She would try to come home and visit but something would come up at the palace, and she’d write “I’ll visit soon” or “I’m sorry I couldn’t come home today. I promise the next day I have off I will!” They knew she was still young but they hoped she would get better at keeping promises as she got older.

“We’ll miss you, little one,” her mother whispered into Kievara’s ear. She had a hard time of keeping her voice steady. Worries and irrational fears were already starting to pop into her mind but she knew that Kievara could handle herself. She would probably only work around girls her own age and would quickly befriend them. Still, some guardsmen and soldiers at the palace could be so crude. 

“I know, Mama. I’ll miss you too.” Kievara said, squeezing her a little tighter. Below in her mother’s arms, Pietek squealed, wanting attention, “And you too, Pietek. I would never forget about my little brother.” She kissed him softly.

It was this action that made the tears well up in Kievara’s eyes. Physical pain struck her chest as though she had been hit by a carriage. It made it hard for her to breathe. Kievara thought of how Pietek would grow up without her. He would not know the love that his older sister had for him. She would miss his first steps, when he would start to talk in full sentences, and his entire childhood. Even though she said that she would not forget him, he would think that she did. A horrifying thought occurred to Kievara: would Pietek even remember her?

Kievara turned to her father, saw him standing there with open arms, and starting crying. Hot tears ran down her face as she was pulled in close by both of her parents. “ Do not cry Kievara, even though we will be apart from you, we will still be together. In here,” her father pressed a hand against his chest. Kievara snuggled closer, trying to be as close as possible to him.

They stayed there for the majority of the night, curled together on the dirt floor, until Kievara’s legs felt funny and her hand cramped up. Pietek had long since fallen asleep in his mother’s arms. It had been a long and tiring day and Kievara need to go to sleep. So she got up from the floor, kissed her mother and father goodnight, and shuffled into her room. The candle that had been illuminating her room had burnt out, leaving Kievara in darkness. She went straight to her bed and collapsed in it. The thoughts inside of her head were buzzing around like a swarm of angry bees, about the next day and what would come of it and even the coming years. 

Kievara thought that she would never be able to get to sleep with all of the noisy thoughts inside of her head but within minutes she had fallen into a deep sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any kudos or comments left will be greatly appreciated!!
> 
> Come talk to me at: iamkidfish.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any kudos or comments left will be greatly appreciated!!
> 
> Come talk to me at: iamkidfish.tumblr.com


End file.
